Joseph Lieberman in Big Trouble, Onion Reports

From an Onion article entitled “Lieberman’s Overlords Most Displeased”:

The nine executive overlords of Sen. Joseph Lieberman are most displeased with the Connecticut lawmaker’s repeated insolence. “We asked the earthling Lieberman to secure the American vice presidency, and yet again he has failed us,” Overlord Xinos IV said in a statement issued telepathically from his prefrontal cortex. “Rest assured, this lowly worm shall pay dearly for his incompetence. That is all.” While the Elders of the High Council of Minerva have not yet settled on an appropriate punishment, they are reportedly considering some combination of spine extraction, laser eye-immolation, and a highly complicated process whereby the four-term senator’s pathetic earth body would be condensed into a small pellet and shot at high speeds into the planet’s molten core.

Benjamin Schuman-Stoler

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