Tag Archives: obama

ObamaCare Turns the Tables on the Jewish Mothers

By Doni Kandel

An unusual wave of exhilarating self-confidence has overcome Jewish sons across America, according to reports.  The surprising cause of buoyancy?  Obamacare.

Political scientists, thought to have accounted for all possible economic and sociological side-effects of the controversial healthcare bill passed earlier this year, seem to have missed the phenomenon that many fear will have far-reaching effects. Anticipating that doctor’s salaries will decrease significantly as a result of the legislation (some say by as much as 15-20%) ObamaCare has profoundly shifted the power in the age-old Jewish battle of Mothers nagging their sons to go to medical school.  In fact some say Sarah’s complacency in the sacrificing of Isaac was due to his refusal to go to medical school.

Widespread hysteria has correspondingly hit the Jewish Mother’s community as the yiddesheh mamas, infamous for nagging their underachieving spawn for failing to get that MD, now face the daunting challenge of losing a key weapon in their guilt repertoire.

Dave Kay, a single 32 year old assistant manager of a local Best Buy store, told reporters this week that, “President Obama has finally delivered the hope he had promised. I had the audacity to hope that this would be the year I would not cry into my soup during my family Passover seder, and I think I’ve got a good shot now. Now I am just a wife and a few grandchildren away from redemption.” When asked by reporters if he appreciated the poetic possibility of redeeming himself on Passover (the Jewish holiday of redemption), Kay responded, “it would be a nice change from the ever poetic slaughtering of the first born son,” while throwing up the popular “this guy” thumbs.  “That has taken place for as long as I can remember.”

Researchers have posited potentially far-reaching implications, both positive and negative, due to this ego boost of Maccabian proportions. Some have presented the possibility that the flailing real estate market may now see a large bump in demand as swarms of Jewish sons liberate themselves from their parents’ basements in search of independent lifestyles for the first time. Additionally, the phone companies are encouraged by the proposition that without the ability to spy on their sons in their own homes, phone call frequency in the stalker range can be expected.

However, other researchers are profoundly concerned with the devastating effect this infusion of self-worth is having demographically. Many men, who have been babied by their mothers for far too long but are now brimming with self-esteem, have misguidedly asked out girls who are way out of their league. This may result in a widespread epidemic of women being turned off to dating altogether, thus stunting an entire generation’s population. There have already been a number of reports of matchmakers uttering sales pitches which would previously seemed insane, such as, “he does have a large mole over his right eye, but at least he’s not a doctor.”  Willy Loman reportedly has been heard turning over in his grave.

Rahm Emmanuel, the former White House Chief of Staff who was instrumental in passing ObamaCare, is thought to have been an operative in an underground movement for the liberation of Jewish boys from the oppression of their mothers.

Senator Barbra Boxer (D-California) has gained a big bump from conservative voters in her re-election polling numbers since her announcement this week that she plans to vote to repeal the healthcare bill. The aging Jewish mother has grown increasingly alarmed after her son allegedly gave her some lip. She even went as far as to promise, “If he refuses to eat leftovers tonight I swear I’m joining the Tea Party”.

Esther Ashema, a 48-year-old Jewish mother from the Upper West Side of Manhattan remains calm, however.  When asked if she was worried about her son finding the courage to cut the metaphorical umbilical cord, she responded, “Come back to me when his wife figures out how to make chicken soup that doesn’t taste like sewage.”


Celebrating the Great Jewish “Jester”

By Maxine Springer

This past weekend, Mel Brooks was recognized (along with Bruce Springsteen, Robert De Niro, Grace Bumbry and Dave Brubeck) at the Kennedy Center Honors at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, DC. Here’s what President Obama had to say about the hilarious actor/director/comedian:

Many believe that Mel Brooks has majorly impacted the concept of Jewish film. In Moment’s feature on Great Jewish Films, several of the critics and scholars interviewed include his films in their picks of top five Jewish films.

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Jewish Fanaticism

By Jeremy Gillick

In the wake of the Manis Friedman controversy, some suggested that Moment should have censored itself in order to protect the Jewish community’s image. Abe Foxman, for example, the controversial director of the Anti-Defamation League, told the Forward that, while he was “not shocked that there would be a rabbi who would have these views,” he was “shocked that Moment would give up all editorial discretion and good sense to publish this as representative of Chabad.” (In Moment’s defense, Manis Friedman is a regular “Ask the Rabbis” contributor: see his former responses here, here and here.)

But if it’s fair to silence the extremism within when it’s a merely a fringe phenomenon limited to a few radical rabbis, surely it’s wrong not to publicize–and criticize–it when it appears to be widespread and cross-denominational. Here’s a remarkable, repulsive and, sadly, illuminating video from Max Blumenthal, an investigative journalist and blogger, that I just came across at New Voices.

Filmed on the streets of Jerusalem in advance of President Obama’s speech in Cairo, Blumenthal and Joseph Dana “encountered rowdy groups of beer sodden twenty-somethings, many from the United States, and all eager to vent their visceral, even violent hatred of Barack Obama and his policies towards Israel. Usually I offer a brief commentary on my video reports,” writes Blumenthal, “but this one requires no comment at all. Quite simply, it contains some of the most shocking footage I have ever filmed.”

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What Hamas Believes

By Jeremy Gillick

Bombing Gaza might not force Hamas–the Palestinian version of the Muslim Brotherhood that rules it–to moderate its hatred of Israel or its hostility towards Jews, but talking to it won’t either. At least, that’s the dismal picture painted by Jeffrey Goldberg–based on discussions he had with several former Hamas leaders–in his fascinating op-ed in yesterday’s New York Times.

“Hamas is not a monolith,” he explains, “and opinions inside the group differ about many things, including engagement with the Shiites of Hezbollah and Iran.” That said, Goldberg argues, there is a consensus within the group that it should aspire to the ideals and successes of its northern counterpart, Hezbollah. “For Hamas,” Goldberg writes, “Hezbollah is not only a source of weapons and instruction, it is a mentor and role model.”

If Hamas is not as malleable as some on the dovish left like to believe (In his new book, We Can Have Peace in the Holy Land, Jimmy Carter writes that “there is a real prospect of Hamas participating constructively in future peace talks.”) then is it worth talking to at all? Or was Hillary Clinton right? Continue reading

How Many Electoral Votes Should Israel Get?

Over at their website, The Economist is conducting a rather interesting experiment. For the US presidential election, they’ve mapped out an electoral college for the entire world. As they write in the explication:

The Economist has redrawn the electoral map to give all 195 of the world’s countries (including the United States) a say in the election’s outcome. As in America, each country has been allocated a minimum of three electoral-college votes with extra votes allocated in proportion to population size. With over 6.5 billion people enfranchised, the result is a much larger electoral college of 9,875 votes.

Obviously, their poll doesn’t reflect the entire world’s actual preference. But it’s nonetheless a strong enough statement in recognition of globalization that Thomas Friedman probably wishes he thought of it. Continue reading

Jews for Ahmadinejad, Onion-style

Ahmadinejad tries to make out with Jewish man

Ahmadinejad tries to make out with Jewish man

In an effort to improve his standing among Jews, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad tried yesterday to make out with a member of the ultra-Orthodox sect Neturei Karta.

Ahmadinejad has been in the dumps among pro-Semites since giving a speech at the UN earlier this week condemned by Barack Obama as anti-Semitic (see below for the full text).

On Wednesday, though, Ahmadinejad met with a group of Neturei Karta rabbis who presented him with a $700 silver trophy and told him they loved him. Continue reading

Jewish Politicians Rip into RJC

Watch Joe Biden deliver last night’s opening speech at the National Jewish Democratic Council’s Washington Conference.

Jewish politicians known for their support of Israel lashed out against the Republican Jewish Committee this morning, accusing it of dividing America’s Jewish community for the sake of politics.

During a panel discussion titled “Israel: Bipartisan Consensus or Partisan Wedge Issue” at a conference hosted by the National Jewish Democratic Council in Washington DC, House Representatives Shelley Berkley (D-NV) and Brad Sherman (D-CA), and former Representative Mel Levine (D-CA) criticized the RJC’s anti-Obama campaign as “BS,” emphasizing that historically Democrats have been the most staunchly and consistently pro-Israel party.

“You cannot denigrate and destroy our community in the interest of getting someone elected and that’s exactly what they [the RJC] are doing Continue reading